Friends are our true Soulmates

Do we all have our one true soul-mate out there somewhere or is it just a myth to have faith on a bullshit concept called love?

It was three O'clock in the night, as I was all hot and bothered and probably in a vulnerable state where a moment of weakness was about to make me call Mr. X (who was not exactly in the town ) and say something that I would have definitely regretted in the morning, I suddenly saw one of my girlfriends online. She is back in town only a few days from States, and I hadn't got the chance to meet up with her yet.

Last night I got to think of friendship. The kind of friendship that we all brag about at some point in our lives, ones which children think to be eternal , teenagers as priorities but you actually understand it completely in your twenties. When the quality matters not the quantity. And you are left with only a handful of them, and you truly value them, because you fully understand what it is to be like with people just like you.

“Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Friends for whom you would do anything, sit and listen to them, their problems, pain, and sorrows, about crushes and heartbreaks. Be there for them even in the middle of the night. Pick up their calls amidst your work. Watch their backs, fight for them, hold them at times when you're all they've got.

With whom even boring days can turn up magical, endless gossips like chatterboxes, gobbling foods like savages, bitch about everything, arguing about small matters and agreeing to everything she says when she needs to hear them from you as well.Whom you give free advice when she needs but never applies them on yourself or vice-versa.

Friendship is about understanding each other even without the actual words spilled out, loving and caring , going on hectic shopping trips including groceries and household stuff. yelling at and then hugging each other. Laughing and crying together, getting high together, or hold her hair while she spills her guts out after being wasted, taking care during sickness, to visit her when she feels low, just to make sure she knows no matter what you are there, always there for her.

That kind of friendship which feels mythical but not impossible, the friendship which teaches you, helps you to become a better person. The friendship which even between several ups and downs, maintain the bond made when you two first agreed to be friends. Keeping each other secrets, and touching each other's souls without even knowing. When at work or home or elsewhere, you miss her when she's not around, and you can't wait to see her next. Without telling her all, getting her advice and opinions do matter a lot in every aspect. When you lie for her, plead her parents to let her join you for a party or trip.

For whom you have felt at least once, if we cannot do anything out of our lives, we will start a business together, or take up an apartment of our own and live happily ever after.

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” 
― Helen Keller

When with her, you even forget about your significant others for some time...and then bring up the topic discussing and criticizing them. When she know you better than you know yourself. When you act silly and stubborn, she try to sort all out, comfort and consoles you during sufferings and worries. who loves you unconditionally ..and without telling everything to her before going to bed while probably give you trouble sleep.
Conspiring murder plans,thinking about to castrate or dismember someone. Phone calls that never ends until you balance runs in negative, meeting that always crosses the curfew, cuddling and dancing like lunatics without caring.

When you find this kind of comfort with a friend, who becomes your family and stays forever, isn't she a blessing? God's gift wrapped in the form of a guide, friend, sister, partner of charity as well as crimes.

It is just the age that makes us mature and confident.


"Maybe we girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just to have fun with." and it is still one of my favorite quotes from Sex And The City by Candice Bushnell delivered by most sensitive and romantic among the four friends, Charlotte York.

So what say ladies, let's laugh, live, love and stay fabulous.

P.S- This is a tribute to my very dear friend Dona and of course Sana, without whose inspiration I wouldn't have thought of writing something other than about Mr.X .

The very feeling of being at Home

My mind was all filled up with the hot and steamy fantasies and I was sure it wasn't because of the only glass of wine I had. He was there, beyond my surprise, he actually was- standing in front of me at the edge of the bed, looking at me with the same passion in his eyes which reflected my own.

With a man like him, who could be both passionate and intimidating at times, and looking into his eyes, had me forgotten where I was. The surrounding seemed to fade out and my only focus was on him. And what’s next?

He’s a man of a tall and well-built frame; had a gorgeous brown skin I'd ever seen.

Right at that moment, it took everything in me not to close the distance between us and lock our lips. With me sitting on the bed cross-legged, he was already ravaging me with his intense,hungry stares. 

“Hey...come here.”His voice was already husky and full of passion. He offered me to take his hand, and I did,as if I was bound to accept it and what all he had to offer. Adjusting me a little, he stood between my legs, his palms placed on my shoulders. I looked up to meet his gaze, the profound black pupils embedded in his beautifully drawn eyes that matched his thick jet-black hair, which he wore confidently even when it’s wet or messy.

Am I confusing comfort with love..?

The wine I had before had me all charged up and bold. Taking by his shoulder , I pushed him on his back over the bed. With my knees pressed against his side, I saddled him as he lay on his back. I bent forward a little, my hands clutching his shirt as I claimed his mouth with mine, the intoxication already had me blunt and desperate. He let out a sigh, as our lips set our bodies on fire with their action. He had his hands on my hips, his fingers playing with the hem of my top.

The soft kiss immediately turned into some full mouth passionate claimants.I licked his lips with the tip of my tongue. I caught his lower lip between my teeth and gave a soft tuck, one of my palm traced along his neck lightly moving over the five O'clock stubble on his face. The taste of him was something extraordinary. He parted his lips to give me access to his tongue. He tasted mint and of the wine we had. I felt it divine as our tongue swirl around each other. His hand pulled my top up against my back and getting the hint , I lifted up my hands for him to pull it over my head.

He caught his breath, as his eyes fell on my breasts. He had no idea, that I was naked underneath my grey baggy T-shirt. He threw my shirt over somewhere and his hands were immediately up their work over my breasts.

It felt amazing, as his massaged them. They fitted perfectly in his hands. Nothing could then hide my arousal, breasts all swelled up, nipples all painfully hardened demanding for his attention and breathing all heaved and irregular. Something about his touch made me go all wild and melting at the same time.

 My head fell back a little, and let out a soft moan, as his hands worked magic on me. He swiftly rubbed his thumbs over my pebbled nipples pinching them lightly which shot up my pleasure twice it was earlier. As if voluntarily I rubbed my pelvis against his loin and I could feel his growing hardness. It irritated me to a great extent about the piece of cloth we still had between us.

I lowered my mouth to whisper in his ear, " I am half naked already while you're still fully clothed. That's extremely unfair. Don't you think?"

My own words sounded little flirty and desperate but I didn't care at that moment.

He chuckled which irritated me more. But the known grin on his face was clearly signal for me to take charge.

"Would you do me the honor then?" he asked with his eyes still dreamy and full of passion. Those prominent eyes looked sexier a lot more when He's really in the mood.

"Oh.. no.I would rather lay down and enjoy a good show."I giggled like a silly teen. 
"Oh...please take them slow...I want to see it all." 

He laughed at my silly talks and rose up. Having me by my hips he sat me on the bed and climbed off the bed. As he faced me , I leaned back resting on my elbows to prepare myself for what he was about to offer. 

This is going to be fun.

He pulled his shirt over his head.The flex of his muscles as he did so, nearly had my mouth watered. The way his arms, chest and abdomen were exhibited I couldn't help but admire the beautiful man standing in front of me. I wondered how come I ended up with this amazing creation of God who could have anyone but he chose me.

My knees were folded up but seeing him in his act, they automatically spread as I watched him move onto his next act .With a graceful and swift tug, he pulled down both his shorts and underwear and let them fall to the ground.

My body was instantly on fire, eyes fixed on his manhood. As he stepped out of his clothes completely and caught me literally eye-assaulting him, he smiled most devilishly as possible.

What I felt at that moment was not just some physical urge but an extreme attraction to have him filled me as if I was incomplete without him. The heated-twitch I felt between my legs could only be satisfied by him, I missed his weight on me, his touch, his breath on my skin, it felt wrong that we had even a little distance between us.

Sensing my immediate need he pulled me by my legs. 

I touched his exposed chest with my hands, smoothing my palms over his warm skin. I placed a light peck on his stomach and then parting my lips, I traced the taste of him off my lips with my tongue. He tasted amazing. I continued with my kisses working all the way up his chest, my hands massaging him in small circles. I heard a low growl in his throat, no way concealing his building urge of hunger. His hand rubbed my shoulders, his fingers working on my neck and back as I carried on my own, little nibbling and sucking all over his front, my tongue sweeping every inch of his skin.

“ You are beautiful.” He said in a low tone, voice bit shaky yet stern as always. A sudden rush of emotions overwhelmed me and I wrapped my arms around his back and face buried against his chest. He held me securely in his arm, his chin resting on my head. Such a simple gesture yet I felt so calm and loved. Safe- as if the ghosts of my past had left; gone for good. I tightened my arms around him fearing to let him go, and he, as though sensing my fear, let me have him.

We might have been in each other’s arms for what seemed forever, till he pulled away a little and taking my face in his hand and made me look at him. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on my lips. It was nothing like the ones we have shared so far, but light and comforting.

“Don’t worry, we will take this slow. I will take care of you no matter what.” His words were gentle and soothing,that brought tears budding along the corner of my eyes.

He tugged at the waist of my shorts and I rose my hips to help him get rid of the only piece of material separating us. He pulled it down my legs slowly and dropped it on the floor. He stood there for a second his eyes thoroughly grazing over my body. And there I was completely naked in front of the man I love, exposed and vulnerable yet I felt safe and desired. His expression changed immediately as it showed clearly the hunger in him.

He parted my legs wider and pulled me closer. My ass resting at the edge of the bed, my legs hooked around his waist and his cock exactly against the centre of my pleasure ready to fill me. He bent down taking my hands in his, our fingers all locked. He pressed himself on me, pushed our hands along the bed over my head and hold them there securely. As our mouth connected again, my eyes closed and my core all heated up and needy. I needed him inside me to ease my flare and then the thought arose that I might not survive this moment for long. I needed him as much as I needed my next breath. 
My moaning against his mouth and the tightening grip of our hands and my crossed ankles along his back started intensifying the mood.

He traced his lips lower down my neck then to my chest and finally having one of my nipples in his warm mouth, he licked around it and gave a gentle tuck on the other with his fingers. The sudden roughness had my growing pleasure to shoot up to another level. He lowered his mouth kissing my stomach all the way down my pelvis.

He unhooked my legs from his waist and parted them. With my eyes still close I wanted to protest but just then I felt his mouth where it was needed the most. My eyes flew open wide and I stared up the ceiling.

He placed a soft kiss before parting my lips . He licked me well with the tip of his tongue.He increased the flickering over my clit, as he pushed one finger inside me. The sudden input had shot a tinge of pain, but soon it turned out into the most pleasurable feeling as he eased his way deeper inside me.

His mouth was still paying adequate attention to my clit and within seconds, I could feel my pleasure shooting up its climax. My hands were clutching the bedsheet with my nails digging through it.My lips were parted and dried up and I had to lick it occasionally to keep them moist.

My growing orgasm had my voice raised by a few pitch and I had to bite down my lips from screaming, worst...from screaming out his name.

"OH...AH" I was absolutely at his mercy and was about to let it go, just when he slowed. His finger softened its pace.

What is he thinking?

Then I felt his thumb against my clitoris circling around the nub. It was already all swollen and full of need. He further held my legs wide as I felt him shoving his tongue inside me as he drank my juice, his thumb still working magic.

I rose my head a little to see him, and I must say seeing his face buried between my legs was the sexiest thing I'd seen so far. I let myself fall on my back, soaked with pleasure and enjoying myself what he was giving me...it felt like early Christmas present.

 As he wiped off all from me, I could feel me orgasm growing again, I arched back and pushed my pussy against his mouth, for the pleasure he was giving was making me greedy beyond words.

Knowing my need,he inserted again, This time, two fingers at a time. He pushed harder against me, and his thumb against my clit. He crooked his finger a little inside me accelerating my pleasure, reaching places inside me I've never thought existed before.

Earlier today he had said today was all about my pleasure and he was the man of his words.
My whole body started trembling under his effect and as the climax closed and I feared he might let it drop again but he didn't . This time, he let it reach me, I shatter completely, spasmed under his touch. 

As I wore off my orgasm, my breaths slowed "Oh my God", I couldn't stop myself from the ultimate pleasure. It took me some time to regain from that condition.

I got up to find him standing with a sexy smirk on his face, I lowered my eyes to find him half hardened.

I had his length in my grip and stroked a few times, rubbing up and down his shaft.
while I worked up he didn't stop me let his head fall a little back enjoying my touch. A few groans escaped his throat. 

"Can you take it so soon?" he asked his voice full of both concern and need. After what he did for me. I could do anything for him and no one or nothing could stop me from that. I saw the hints of his own need in his eyes and nodded.

He parted my legs and pushed himself into me but only an inch at a single thrust. He only increased his pace once he was completely inside me, my legs hooked around his waist and his thighs slapped hard against my ass with every thrust he gave .He pumped himself into me and at first what felt uneasy was soon turned into an amazing bliss. 

His fingers and mouth were all amazing but the way his cock filled me, I felt fabulous and enchanted.The way he fitted me as if he was made for me and only me. He stomped against me harder and faster. I felt my wall clinging tighter against his length. A few more thrust and I felt him all filled and swelled within me. He stopped and let his forehead drop to my chest. He rubbed his face against my breasts, inhaling my scent. I was sure I smelt of sweat and sex. I slipped my fingers through his hair. This was my favourite moment, I caressed him as he continued snuggling against my skin, with his cock still inside me.

 I let my hand rub aginst his back, broad shoulders as I held him tighter embrace. I felt his length growing again in me and he looked up "Time for round two."

I smiled at him.

"Move a little up."

Not taking himself out of me, he had me by my waist to have us completely on the bed.
He was on his knees on the bed between my legs and I had my back rose . My toes keeping my balance. He pulled a pillow from the side to had it places under my head. I clutched it as he started thrusting into me again. This time, it was faster than before, and after few thrust, he let my legs flat on the bed , held them with his own, as he moved slowly and softly into me.

 He lowered himself to kiss me and it felt such amazing that I had my arms around his neck to hold him tight . He could be so fierce and soft at the same time, had me realize that what we were having was not just sex. Even though I hadn't told him what my actual feelings for him were, and neither had he, we were already making love. He kissed my neck and I had my eyes shut tight absorbing the slow loving make of ours.

I looked at him and said, "Hey, I want to be on top."

He narrowed his brows a little asking as if to confirm " You want to be on top?"

"Yes," I shrugged smiling as if I was a pro at it.

He smiled and flipped us in a swift motion. He lay on his pack again and I was on top my knees by his side and him still in me.

How did he manage that?

I placed my hand on his chest for support as I sank on him.But only a few thrust and I realized it's not that east as they say it was.

The pretty tipsy brain of mine couldn't work properly and he slipped out of me completely.

"I'm dry. You have to work on it." He said grinning as if to mock me.

"Really?"I asked him frowning a little.

"Yes. Really." he laughed "Go on. Do..." before he could say any further I had him in my mouth.

I knew girls while giving heads always start slow but I didn't bother. I worked harder from the start pumping him out faster. How dare he laugh at me? I worked up his shaft with a hand and my tongue licking the length as my mouth reached up, it circling around the tip and then again had him deep in .The head hit the back of my throat every time it went deep down. I let my other hand  massage his balls slowing rubbing them against my palms.

"Hey, you're...such....a tease" I heard him struggling between irregular breathing.

"Mm...hmm" still not ready to let him go.I wanted to both torture and please him.

"Okay, put me in," He said which was clearly an order than a statement.

Taking his length in my hand I put him in me and sinking onto him for some time .I struggled a bit to do it properly and seeing my difficulty he flipped me over to have it his way. 

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He kissed me softly on my lips one last time before pulling out of me.

He excused himself to the bathroom, and I lay there staring at the ceiling trying to make my brain start functioning again.I turned around and grabbed a pillow against my chest and closed my eyes. Even though I missed him filling me already, I felt different kind of happiness which I didn't understand myself. 

A few minutes passed and I felt him behind me. He took me in his arms spooning me from behind. He had his face buried against my shoulder one hand over my breast and another took mine and placed against my stomach.

The position felt so intimate and comforting even though we were actually not . The feeling of having each other skin to skin in just a simple embrace gave us a glimpse of future -a bonding developing.

I brought his hand up to my mouth to kiss it and to make him know I would always be there for him. No matter what he had got me always and forever.
I would wait for him until he was ready for his leap of faith, I would be by his side all the time and whenever he turned he would have me.

As I let his hand go, he placed it on my thigh, slowly caressing it up and down. With him in spooning position his cock pressed right against me, I felt it stirring a little. I let out a laugh thinking how quickly he regained his stamina.

He turned me to face him and I did reluctantly. He pulled me closer into an embrace- his strong, masculine arms around me, my face buried against his chest. Then I felt it finally. That feeling of home, to stay like that forever, to get lost in each other’s presence.

Love Me Always

I immediately flashed back to the memories of last night when I had fallen asleep just by looking at his picture, or when I had his name written around my ring finger like a teenager does for her crush, or when I suffer from a dilemma whether to call him just to hear his voice or wait for him to take the chance as he'd promised me.

Stop it. I scolded myself . Stop it right now.
"Stop what?" 

His voice caught me off guard to register I'd said the last part out loud.

"Nothing," I quickly answered to avoid further queries.

He raised an eyebrow in doubt, he knew I lied but thankfully didn't ask anything more.

"Right then, get up on the bed." His sudden bold remark had me stunned. What?!

Then I saw he was working up some notes there and....it was just a statement. Phew!! Stop overthinking. Thank Goodness.

As I was climbing up the bed he said, " Is it because of the heat that You're all covered up?"

I was on my knees and palms when I stopped to look at him over my shoulder, "Yes, it is extremely hot and sunny outside. I don't wanna get burned and I don't even know what exactly I'm here for?"

Great!! Out of nowhere I decided to be sound like a cold-hearted bitch.
What is wrong with me? What am I thinking?

"I mean...I know why I am here. I just didn't.."

"..Know whether you could do that." he completed for me. He smirked as if he could read my thoughts.
I hate it when he is right.

"I am here to talk," I said with a confidence in my tone. "Um, that's why I am here." Am I?
I sat on his bed crossed legs, I didn't know whom I was confirming him or me.

"So you say." He winked just the way he always used to.

He stood there by the side of the bed. I knew just then that He wouldn't take the lead and start what I expect of him.

"Daniel?!"
My suddenly soft,composed tone caught him by surprise, he had never heard me talking in such a low voice.

"I can't do this anymore. None of us knows where exactly we are heading. What this rela..." I gestured my hand between us " whatever this is. We both know how it would have worked in a city like Manhattan, and if it was about someone else...anyone I would have taken it lightly. But with you, it just not the same."
I paused hoping him to say something or at least discard the conversation, yet when he didn't I continued.

"I'm not asking you to leave aside everything else and give me all your time. You know I won't, but you could at least text me first other than when you want me to come over or call me some time just to know how I am...once in a while..maybe. Is that too much to ask for?"
I asked the same question again which I had quite a long time ago..back then his answer was a simple no.
This time, he had not uttered a word, just stood there, his head down. I could feel him brooding over something.

"I don't want to lose you. But this is no better than that. I want to spend more time with you. Celebrate life, make memories with you," My voice took up a pitch full of excitement of its own. Every time I dream of a future with him, my whole body would be in the perfect synchronisation with my brain and heart," I wanna be with you."

"We have somewhat a year together ahead of us before you leave the city, and don't know when you will come back or come back at all. The news is already painful beyond expressing for me. Don't make this any harder. I would have loved to play along with you if I had no feelings for you. But I can't do it anymore because this has become more than just getting physical. I want you to take the chance with me."

"But then again you still have got that ex-file which one shouldn't bring up even if in a relationship let aside in something like ours, but I can't help but think of you all the time. Like I'm obsessed with you, I want to know...know all about you. If not now I wish you would let down your guard someday. And I want you to include me as a part of your life."

"I know you don't like wasting time, so I guess that's what keeps you away from me. You like challenges and I'm a bet won..so why pretend? You didn't want me to feel cheap, so you let it go more than once, or maybe you had you own interest in mind. I don't blame you, this was a mutual agreement..but now this has to stop. You let me go, so I can too."
He doesn't care..he doesn't want you the way you want him to. I kept saying it to myself.

I crawled over to him, sitting on my heels I had his face in my hand. I made him look at me, "Daniel," and just when his eyes met mine," I love you. I have been saying this all along, you never believed or chose not to. When it comes to you 'Action speaks better than words.' So I tried to show you, but I failed," I placed my other hand on my chest," It is not you, It's me. My fault, my expectations, my overthinking, my feelings. Not necessary that you have to feel the same way. And so far I was okay with it. But not anymore. Let's be realists, I can wait for you like I gave my words, but It's not like one morning You suddenly wake up and realize that you love me. No..it doesn't happen like that except in books and movies. What if someone comes into your life, how would I survive that? I can barely tolerate you with any of your female friends and colleagues now." I let out a silly laugh when I realized tears rolling downing my cheeks. I quickly rubbed them off with the back of my hand.

"See, this is what you make out of me. A vulnerable cry baby. I am this strong, confident , outspoken girl with others, but..."

"Woman," he whispered in a low tone as if not wanting me to hear.
I looked at him in confusion," What?"

"Woman."he cleared his thought,"You are not a girl, kiddo." There was a certain hesitation in that tone. He always saw me as a mature woman even at my state of depression and frustration. He supported me, always been a proper guide, helped me in healing my broken past. He was indeed the best thing ever happened to me after my own self.

I saw him forcing a smile while trying to make a joke to lighten up the situation and also his struggle in it. He was usually this smart and funny , and I love laughing and cherishing good times with him but seeing him uncomfortable during my talk made me feel worse. He was always the one in control, making sure even the little time we get together to made special and memorable.

"Haha..ha funny." I lightly punched on his shoulder," Woman it is then. but calling me kiddo makes you what, grandpa?" He pressed his lips to swallowed down his smile, which I took as a hint. I'd got to end it then and leave before I broke down in front of him. A neat breakup was always my plan, only with him..I'm bleeding from the inside and that's pretty messy.

"You are a good man. You make to me want to make a better self out of my old shell. I love you and I always will. But today I am letting you go."

I placed my hands on his chest and put a soft kiss on his lips.

Ah! the last tragic kiss as they call it.

That was it, by letting him go, I freed myself.

(Until I am called again. For once in love forever bounded....especially if it's Satan himself we are talking about.)

P.S- This is for every single woman out there who's confused thinking whether making the first move on your man would have you look too bold or desperate and not taking the lead gets you nowhere. 
Courage up ladies, it's time to call your own shots.