The Return

Again. That same bed, the same bedsheet on it, the same dull curtains. 

The only thing that attracted the eyes of any lonely soul was the old wooden bookshelf. It was stacked with fat hardbound copies of Dante's The Divine Comedy, Milton's Paradise Lost (This particular book longed for the company of Paradise Regained but unfortunately the owner had deprived it) and the Complete set of Shakespearean works.

She had been in that room a number of times before. The bed was an ancestral property aging more than a hundred years. She liked it from the very first day.

"I hate Spring. The advance of early summer winds, the terrible calls of the Koels...Dang! Irritating and annoying." She said. As if The time has come to fall in love. Again.

"Come here." He had offered her his hand.
"Where?" One of her eyebrows shot up in a query.
"Come." He repeated. This time just one single word. And that did it. As if under a spell, she couldn't refuse. She took his hand, climbed down the bed and followed him. He sat on the floor, leaning against the closed door which led to the balcony. He made her saddle on his stretched legs.

It was decided. Today was sorted. She knew what she had agreed on before getting in the cab with him.
"You're drunk. I wouldn't fuck you tonight." His voice declared the certainty of his unfaltering decision.
What?! "Okay." Disappointed. She could only say that before he claimed her mouth. 

His lips painted her with the hues of blues and grays, maybe the red of her own let the feminity speak. 

Gentle yet arousing, fierce yet passionate. 
Her hands brushed along his nape, fingers clutched his thick dark hair. And in a few moments, her tipsy head could feel her breasts heaved and free. She gasped in his mouth.
"Um..how did you.." She struggled between the kisses finding it very difficult to stop kissing him. 
 "Did you just unhooked my bra?" How could he do that with one hand? Wasn't the other fondling her face?
 He didn't answer, didn't smile...just stared straight into her eyes. His eyes are artistic and complement his hair. I like your eyes.
"How many women have you been with?" Her first mistake.
"Seventeen."
S-e-v-e-n-t-e-e-n?! "So I'm the eighteenth one. Didn't think the number would be of two digits. Good." A hint of jealousy.
"No. You're the first."
"Either you're poor in maths or you think me to be a fool." Aren't you a one?
"You're The one." He insisted.
She shrugged. Too much talking.
"Sorry I am not a good kisser." Are you kidding me? Other than my heartbeats, my hormones are willing to vouch for the truth.
Her lips couldn't bear the torture of being apart from his.The tongue swept along the jawline, crushed up to his ear, the teeth sinking on the soft lobe. He turned to bite on her neck. Don't leave any marks.
His hands were by them too busy pulling up her top, siding the soft fabric of the bra, exposing the breasts at his mercy. And they were too begging for his attention.
His sudden claim of one of her breasts. His mouth was warm, his tongue swirling along a nipple, his teeth lightly tugged it. Yes, the pleasing meter is rising.
Her hands fidgeted before finally managing to unzip his pants. I could feel him in my hands. The urge building, the intimacy growing.
Where were you all these years? Second Mistake.

"Let me taste you..."
That night He was a perfect gentleman.


 "Help me...will you?"
As he helped her with the clasp of the bra, her eyes fell upon the book-shelf. "What books are those?"
"Take a look yourself." She rose up from the floor and advanced towards it. She had gone through the title and publication date of each book that night.
"This shelf seems incomplete, And not because it contains only a few books. It lacks the most important one."

Now the time had come for its New year gift.
She placed the set she had got for him on the middle shelf. She chose this time of the day for she no longer withhold strength to face him without breaking down in front of him. And her other persona wouldn't let that happen. So, she came in while he was at work and let the note do the rest from in between the pages of the favourite book of the set.
"Among the best classics of all time...I am letting my "Harry Potter" be yours. I no longer have the right to wish you well, at least I pray you will look after these.
~Godhuli: A name that you once gave me, a name I am letting you have."

Almost Reaching My limits

"Come in."
His mother invited me in. He has returned from Bangalore yesterday but it was only this morning that he informed me that.

"I have a post-friendship day surprise for you. I'm sending you my current location." He had said over whatsapp.
I had already known that yet I had to act surprised. He had lied to a number of times before but I choose to ignore them. Things between us are already complicated beyond understand, I wouldn't want things to go worse. Whenever I pointed out about his lies, he always avoided answering them but accepted the fact that he had lied.

He had called me over his place, and despite all my anger and prior determination of not meeting him, I couldn't control the urge. This time, it hasn't been long- just a little longer than a month. But I had missed him, missed him like never before. Situations we both are in currently are disturbing me and the distance worsened it. It was unbearable and he wasn't either helping. I cannot blame him completely.He has a lot of pressure on him. A new city, new job, a completely new place and people, he is struggling just the same as I am here. I am struggling with the separation. I knew this would be hard, painful to stay away from him.

"O oi ghore ache. Jao." He's in that room. You can go. His mother said to me. Through the narrow corridor, the last room was his. Just as I entered he was sitting on his bed watching television. He saw me but didn't say anything, simply stared at me. His was shirtless, alright rest I would leave here, just know it was a bit difficult to concentrate. For once I thought I made a wrong decision to go there. 
As I stood at the door staring at him, he called out, "Ma. Ma." Then got up from the bed and went out. I entered to sit on the edge of his bed.
He returned a short while with his mother. His mother opened the cupboard to get a shirt out for him.
I laughed slightly. Momma's boy I thought.
"Why did you change the place?" He asked his mother.
His mother took a brown shirt out ,which happened to be my favourite among all his other shirts."It's up in the front. But you can't see that.Here take it." His mother said being a bit irritated. 
I understood his mother is a working lady, who happened to get a holiday that day. With a lot of household work, now this grown-up man asking his mother for a shirt that too in front of an outside woman aka that's me.

He put on his shirt and his mother left. He closed the door behind her. It seemed his mother never minded him closing door whenever I'm in.
He closed the distant,came in front of me and wrapped his arms around me. with me sitting at the edge, my face was pressed against his chest, He brushed his hand over my head another holding my back securely. I caught my breath after such a sudden gesture. I was here for one reason to talk with him about where this was going. Where we were going.

But having him after all this time, I couldn't fight him. I let myself sank into him and the comfort immediately circled me. Until then I was in a certain unrest which seemed to be only satisfied with his simple embrace.
God, I love this man beyond anything, anyone.

When the reality hit me, I struggled a little saying, " We have a lot to catch up with."
He let go of me with a small smirk on his face. He removed my glasses and started cleaning it with his shirt front, like always.  He sat beside me on the bed.

"You know you are the only one who does this..."
"Removing your specs?" he completed me.
"Yes. And I..."
"And you don't like it. I know." He returned it by helping me wear it.
"I only allow it to you. I don't know why." He smiled. Me, him, everyone knows the reason why. Let's not go there.

"Why do you do it?" I asked. He just rolled his lower lip as if to say he doesn't know either. But I could recognize a mockery in it.

Jimmy Valentine Extension

Jimmy was surprised when he saw Ben Price walking away without arresting him. He was sure Ben had come with proper evidence and witnessed somehow his action of the day.

Jimmy didn't care at all, He was ready to surrender himself. I knew after the revelation of his identity he would no longer be accepted by his lover, Annabel or her family. He delayed for some time before heading towards his waiting buggy.
"Ralph," a familiar voice called him. He turned to see a confused Annabel standing at the entrance of the bank. Few minutes flew by, their eyes locked on each other.
"Ralph," Annabel broke the silence first.And before she could say anything Jimmy stopped her.

"Annabel, it is a long story. But all you have to understand, I lied only because I loved you. I wanted to leave my past behind and knit a better future with you. Trust me, I have changed. There's nothing more I can say for myself."

Annabel closed the distance between them. She took Jimmy's hands in hers, her warmth immediately made Jimmy look into her eyes.
"Ralph, What you did in there was nobody else could. You saved Agatha." She continued." I believe in you. I believe the man I love. I knew you could save her and everyone else from that situation."

Jimmy was struck with her words. Never before that day, Annabel ever confessed her love and trust for men so beautifully. He for the moment realized how lucky he had been to find her. To have her as his life-partner. He only feared that it won't be fulfilled anymore. Annabel after knowing his previous records might not accept him.

"I don't know who you were before we met or what you did. I know You never did any harm to a soul rather saved our baby girl today. I am proud of You, Ralph. I truly am." Annabel took Jimmy by his hand and re-entered the bank. Jimmy wasn't in any position to oppose her.

While they entered the place where the horrifying incident took place only a few minutes ago, everyone present there started clapping. Few appreciated Jimmy's brave attempt, some stood discussing his action in low whispering voice. Agatha clung close to her mother's arms still, a bit nervous and broke. She had gone through a lot inside that dark vault.

Jimmy's best set of burglary still left open on the floor where he had kept it. Mr. Adams stood by Annabel's sister and her daughters trying to comfort everyone.

As soon as He saw Jimmy, he came up thanking for what he had done. "Young man, you have done something impossible. If we were a little bit late I don't know what would have happened."
Jimmy was taken back by such a compliment. He never dreamt of people accepting him knowing his true self. He had taken in the disguise a year ago for the very same reason. He hid under the cover of Ralph De Spencer only to be accepted in the regular society.
before Jimmy could say anything more, Annabel's sister suggested they should head back home. Agatha was not completely recovered yet. Everyone agreed and took Jimmy's waiting buggy to home.
Jimmy stayed over Mr. Adams' house for the rest of the day. He thought of returning to his hotel room, but everyone insisted. Moreover, he wanted to stay too until Agatha was fully comforted.
The doctor visited her and reported nothing serious had happened. She collapsed because of the presence of low oxygen and fear. She would be fit by the evening.
The day had been tiring for all, everyone retired to their own rooms. Jimmy was given the guest room for his stay.
After lunch, when Jimmy was sitting in his room lighting a cigarette, Mr. Adams entered.
"We are not well aware of your past Ralph but after what you did today, I am ought to believe you have changed for good. I have seen love in your eyes for my daughter. I have a good reputation in the town. A Handsome young man like you respected by all is indeed very rare." Mr. Adams continued," I hope you would keep my daughter happy. I am trusting you. But as a father, I must say this if you hurt my baby girl in any way, remember I will be watching."
Jimmy was not at all daunted by Mr. Adams' suppress warning. He immediately replied," Thank you for your appreciation and trust, Mr. Adams. I tell you no harm will come to Annabel. I love her more than I love anyone else in this world. If I hurt her I hurt myself, and if anyone else tries to they have to face me first."
Mr. Adams already knew Jimmy love for his daughter yet Jimmy's words were like comfort to his ears. Both the men shook hands and Mr. Adams left the room.
Just when Jimmy was about to sit on his bed, Annabel came in. She looked beautiful as usual but there was a certain glow on her face today in particular.

I AM DYING.

I am dying to do something great.
I am dying to make my own identity.
I am dying to travel around the world.
I am dying to eat as much as I can.
I am dying to read every single page ever written.
I am dying to return to the fantasy.
I am dying to laugh whole-heartedly.
I am dying to ease the pain and let all go.
I am dying to meet a bright new day.
I am dying to stop suffering.
I am dying to do away with the odds.
I am dying to love you like no one else.
I am dying to touch your soul with mine.
I am dying to kiss your lips.
I am dying to embrace you right now.
I am dying to have you as Mine.
I am dying to be live without a worry.
I am dying to do what I am not supposed to do.

At the end, all you get to know is that I AM DYING.

Poetry for My Kuttu

First was just the face-off,
Young as we both were,
Little had we known
Where our lives will lead us to.

Second was when We had
Faced our lives in haste and leisure;
Almost four three years later
Matured by time, Suffered from rejections,
Frustrated with bored, and
Excited for adventures.

Which was once just a meet, got a name
Friendship as we called it.
Intrigued by same interests,
Longing for beauty and art,
Passion for sensuality,
Two minds did get related.

Yet, fate has another plan,
Separated for almost around a year
Here we meet again,
This is time,
It was all a new, started a fresh.

Separated by time, united by Herbs;
With budding ideas and determination
We had a third,
And a fourth last night.
Then, it all changed
From beautiful trips to
Daring acts;
Soft conversation to vulgar jokes;
Vitality to leg-pulling;
Acquaintance to friends-

Till now, we made it,
For days to come, success to achieve,
I raise a toast and congratulate myself;

Now you may ask
All this because of Whom and Why?

All for a dearest soul
I have ever known;
And never had I thought
I would get Shiva as my Friend.

Love

The room was in darkness,
And the only light was
That the warmth of the lover's skin gave.
The ambiance was extraordinary.
In perfect mood and beautiful silence.
Kneeling in front of each other,
Eyes fixed, hands-in-hands.

Tonight they were more intimate than ever.

Naked, bared skin;
Two almost perfect brown figure closed the distance.

He held her close to his body.
His hands securely around her back.
Her face resting on his chest, just above his heart.
He was at peace, a tremendous happiness- having her tonight and every other night in his arms, by his side.
Indeed, he was a lucky soul.
And looking at her, in the depth of her eyes, he could lose himself.

He let his fingers roam on her smooth, velvety skin.
His skin absorbed her essence and mingled it with his own scent.
At times he pressured her polite skin, finding it difficult to hold back his own desires.
But he had promised to be gentle tonight.

Tonight it was all about her pleasure,
Her comfort, her cries, and moans, tonight it was her night.

He felt her warm breaths on his skin, that sent shiver deep into his bones.

He drew his both hands from her side and placed them gently on her breasts. These days her breasts are gorgeously huge, though that's both his fault and credit. And he accepted that proudly, breasts which once used to fit his hands perfectly, now full, bouncy and deliciously eye-drawing.
His thumbs lightly rubbed her swollen nipples. He knew how sensitive her body was to his touch. Her body soaked all the pleasure he had to give. her head slightly fell back, lips slightly open, and one small moan escaped her throat. Tonight's first sound of appreciation. His chest broadened with pride. His mind determined to achieve a lot more of such victories.

His hands slightly turned her,
Taking all the time she needed.
Pulled her by her shoulders
And let her bare back touch his front.

He parted her hair to one side and put a kiss on her sensitive spot behind her ear.
She melted instantly sat on her heels.

He went in front of her, she had her head down, like once she used to sit whenever he was in front of her.
He lifted her face up by her chin,
Her big brown eyes fell on his.
And it was just like the first time.

She had the most beautiful and soft eyes he had ever seen.
She sat staring at him. Her eyes gave it all,
She was happy, pleased, aroused and exhausted too.

He sat by her.

"I love you," he said completely meaning it and brushed his palm over her huge stomach which carries the second most intimate part of his life.
"And I love you too." he bent down to put a kiss on her stomach and whispered," Just a few more days till we meet."

Pain: For I couldn't think of anything else.

He is her Muse, He is her Master.

Initially, there was just Pain
That none really understood.
A Few rubber bands around the wrist,
Which was almost bleeding;
The repeated bites of them
Over the sore, damaged flesh

Had somewhat ease the deeper pain.

Pain: Two-fold was it for her.
One could momentarily satisfy
Her masochistic fetish,
The other was more unstable.
Bit broken, bit shaken,
In thoughts which come and go,
She dared to Hope
Where even the darkness was lost in itself.

"Pain. Pain."
She twice yelled.
None heard her screams though it seems.
'Probably this addiction is bad,'
She realized.

This gives her a comfort
That the advanced bred forgot to show.
She was alone but never lonely,
Which she always believed.
Forced by situation, forced by men,
She doubted.
Shouldn't she be doing what she wants?
Just for once.

There lay the shackle.
You know,
The gigantic, rusted and uncomfortably heavy one.
Probably this is the last hurdle, last test,
Her trapped soul when asked for freedom
All she got was more confinements.

Then again, She dared
And just for once, by mistake
Wished for Death.
Wished for the Satan himself.
She thought
She was ready, Prepared,
Willing to take in all.

Instead, she found
That was myth till date.
A journey that all took
Over time and history.
Some succeeded in the yellow pages,
Some in torn canvases,
Some in Man's words,
Some under "Forever" tag.

Her heart was broken,
She refused to fix it
Rather let it freeze for eternity
In the Chamber of Devil's frost.

Beginnings are always tough,
But Time, Time-
Pieces of fragile glass
Turned into a frozen stone,
Patched with black tapes-
Perhaps patches of memories.

But little had she known
With that tiny insignificant thing,
Just like pixie dust and genie's wish
Even the beast found the beauty.

He is the cure, He is the answer.
While she has him,
The heaven found her.

P.S- She tapped the burnt cigarette in one hand,
While the other bled the page with the ink of their union.