Almost Reaching My limits

"Come in."
His mother invited me in. He has returned from Bangalore yesterday but it was only this morning that he informed me that.

"I have a post-friendship day surprise for you. I'm sending you my current location." He had said over whatsapp.
I had already known that yet I had to act surprised. He had lied to a number of times before but I choose to ignore them. Things between us are already complicated beyond understand, I wouldn't want things to go worse. Whenever I pointed out about his lies, he always avoided answering them but accepted the fact that he had lied.

He had called me over his place, and despite all my anger and prior determination of not meeting him, I couldn't control the urge. This time, it hasn't been long- just a little longer than a month. But I had missed him, missed him like never before. Situations we both are in currently are disturbing me and the distance worsened it. It was unbearable and he wasn't either helping. I cannot blame him completely.He has a lot of pressure on him. A new city, new job, a completely new place and people, he is struggling just the same as I am here. I am struggling with the separation. I knew this would be hard, painful to stay away from him.

"O oi ghore ache. Jao." He's in that room. You can go. His mother said to me. Through the narrow corridor, the last room was his. Just as I entered he was sitting on his bed watching television. He saw me but didn't say anything, simply stared at me. His was shirtless, alright rest I would leave here, just know it was a bit difficult to concentrate. For once I thought I made a wrong decision to go there. 
As I stood at the door staring at him, he called out, "Ma. Ma." Then got up from the bed and went out. I entered to sit on the edge of his bed.
He returned a short while with his mother. His mother opened the cupboard to get a shirt out for him.
I laughed slightly. Momma's boy I thought.
"Why did you change the place?" He asked his mother.
His mother took a brown shirt out ,which happened to be my favourite among all his other shirts."It's up in the front. But you can't see that.Here take it." His mother said being a bit irritated. 
I understood his mother is a working lady, who happened to get a holiday that day. With a lot of household work, now this grown-up man asking his mother for a shirt that too in front of an outside woman aka that's me.

He put on his shirt and his mother left. He closed the door behind her. It seemed his mother never minded him closing door whenever I'm in.
He closed the distant,came in front of me and wrapped his arms around me. with me sitting at the edge, my face was pressed against his chest, He brushed his hand over my head another holding my back securely. I caught my breath after such a sudden gesture. I was here for one reason to talk with him about where this was going. Where we were going.

But having him after all this time, I couldn't fight him. I let myself sank into him and the comfort immediately circled me. Until then I was in a certain unrest which seemed to be only satisfied with his simple embrace.
God, I love this man beyond anything, anyone.

When the reality hit me, I struggled a little saying, " We have a lot to catch up with."
He let go of me with a small smirk on his face. He removed my glasses and started cleaning it with his shirt front, like always.  He sat beside me on the bed.

"You know you are the only one who does this..."
"Removing your specs?" he completed me.
"Yes. And I..."
"And you don't like it. I know." He returned it by helping me wear it.
"I only allow it to you. I don't know why." He smiled. Me, him, everyone knows the reason why. Let's not go there.

"Why do you do it?" I asked. He just rolled his lower lip as if to say he doesn't know either. But I could recognize a mockery in it.

Jimmy Valentine Extension

Jimmy was surprised when he saw Ben Price walking away without arresting him. He was sure Ben had come with proper evidence and witnessed somehow his action of the day.

Jimmy didn't care at all, He was ready to surrender himself. I knew after the revelation of his identity he would no longer be accepted by his lover, Annabel or her family. He delayed for some time before heading towards his waiting buggy.
"Ralph," a familiar voice called him. He turned to see a confused Annabel standing at the entrance of the bank. Few minutes flew by, their eyes locked on each other.
"Ralph," Annabel broke the silence first.And before she could say anything Jimmy stopped her.

"Annabel, it is a long story. But all you have to understand, I lied only because I loved you. I wanted to leave my past behind and knit a better future with you. Trust me, I have changed. There's nothing more I can say for myself."

Annabel closed the distance between them. She took Jimmy's hands in hers, her warmth immediately made Jimmy look into her eyes.
"Ralph, What you did in there was nobody else could. You saved Agatha." She continued." I believe in you. I believe the man I love. I knew you could save her and everyone else from that situation."

Jimmy was struck with her words. Never before that day, Annabel ever confessed her love and trust for men so beautifully. He for the moment realized how lucky he had been to find her. To have her as his life-partner. He only feared that it won't be fulfilled anymore. Annabel after knowing his previous records might not accept him.

"I don't know who you were before we met or what you did. I know You never did any harm to a soul rather saved our baby girl today. I am proud of You, Ralph. I truly am." Annabel took Jimmy by his hand and re-entered the bank. Jimmy wasn't in any position to oppose her.

While they entered the place where the horrifying incident took place only a few minutes ago, everyone present there started clapping. Few appreciated Jimmy's brave attempt, some stood discussing his action in low whispering voice. Agatha clung close to her mother's arms still, a bit nervous and broke. She had gone through a lot inside that dark vault.

Jimmy's best set of burglary still left open on the floor where he had kept it. Mr. Adams stood by Annabel's sister and her daughters trying to comfort everyone.

As soon as He saw Jimmy, he came up thanking for what he had done. "Young man, you have done something impossible. If we were a little bit late I don't know what would have happened."
Jimmy was taken back by such a compliment. He never dreamt of people accepting him knowing his true self. He had taken in the disguise a year ago for the very same reason. He hid under the cover of Ralph De Spencer only to be accepted in the regular society.
before Jimmy could say anything more, Annabel's sister suggested they should head back home. Agatha was not completely recovered yet. Everyone agreed and took Jimmy's waiting buggy to home.
Jimmy stayed over Mr. Adams' house for the rest of the day. He thought of returning to his hotel room, but everyone insisted. Moreover, he wanted to stay too until Agatha was fully comforted.
The doctor visited her and reported nothing serious had happened. She collapsed because of the presence of low oxygen and fear. She would be fit by the evening.
The day had been tiring for all, everyone retired to their own rooms. Jimmy was given the guest room for his stay.
After lunch, when Jimmy was sitting in his room lighting a cigarette, Mr. Adams entered.
"We are not well aware of your past Ralph but after what you did today, I am ought to believe you have changed for good. I have seen love in your eyes for my daughter. I have a good reputation in the town. A Handsome young man like you respected by all is indeed very rare." Mr. Adams continued," I hope you would keep my daughter happy. I am trusting you. But as a father, I must say this if you hurt my baby girl in any way, remember I will be watching."
Jimmy was not at all daunted by Mr. Adams' suppress warning. He immediately replied," Thank you for your appreciation and trust, Mr. Adams. I tell you no harm will come to Annabel. I love her more than I love anyone else in this world. If I hurt her I hurt myself, and if anyone else tries to they have to face me first."
Mr. Adams already knew Jimmy love for his daughter yet Jimmy's words were like comfort to his ears. Both the men shook hands and Mr. Adams left the room.
Just when Jimmy was about to sit on his bed, Annabel came in. She looked beautiful as usual but there was a certain glow on her face today in particular.

I AM DYING.

I am dying to do something great.
I am dying to make my own identity.
I am dying to travel around the world.
I am dying to eat as much as I can.
I am dying to read every single page ever written.
I am dying to return to the fantasy.
I am dying to laugh whole-heartedly.
I am dying to ease the pain and let all go.
I am dying to meet a bright new day.
I am dying to stop suffering.
I am dying to do away with the odds.
I am dying to love you like no one else.
I am dying to touch your soul with mine.
I am dying to kiss your lips.
I am dying to embrace you right now.
I am dying to have you as Mine.
I am dying to be live without a worry.
I am dying to do what I am not supposed to do.

At the end, all you get to know is that I AM DYING.

Poetry for My Kuttu

First was just the face-off,
Young as we both were,
Little had we known
Where our lives will lead us to.

Second was when We had
Faced our lives in haste and leisure;
Almost four three years later
Matured by time, Suffered from rejections,
Frustrated with bored, and
Excited for adventures.

Which was once just a meet, got a name
Friendship as we called it.
Intrigued by same interests,
Longing for beauty and art,
Passion for sensuality,
Two minds did get related.

Yet, fate has another plan,
Separated for almost around a year
Here we meet again,
This is time,
It was all a new, started a fresh.

Separated by time, united by Herbs;
With budding ideas and determination
We had a third,
And a fourth last night.
Then, it all changed
From beautiful trips to
Daring acts;
Soft conversation to vulgar jokes;
Vitality to leg-pulling;
Acquaintance to friends-

Till now, we made it,
For days to come, success to achieve,
I raise a toast and congratulate myself;

Now you may ask
All this because of Whom and Why?

All for a dearest soul
I have ever known;
And never had I thought
I would get Shiva as my Friend.

Love

The room was in darkness,
And the only light was
That the warmth of the lover's skin gave.
The ambiance was extraordinary.
In perfect mood and beautiful silence.
Kneeling in front of each other,
Eyes fixed, hands-in-hands.

Tonight they were more intimate than ever.

Naked, bared skin;
Two almost perfect brown figure closed the distance.

He held her close to his body.
His hands securely around her back.
Her face resting on his chest, just above his heart.
He was at peace, a tremendous happiness- having her tonight and every other night in his arms, by his side.
Indeed, he was a lucky soul.
And looking at her, in the depth of her eyes, he could lose himself.

He let his fingers roam on her smooth, velvety skin.
His skin absorbed her essence and mingled it with his own scent.
At times he pressured her polite skin, finding it difficult to hold back his own desires.
But he had promised to be gentle tonight.

Tonight it was all about her pleasure,
Her comfort, her cries, and moans, tonight it was her night.

He felt her warm breaths on his skin, that sent shiver deep into his bones.

He drew his both hands from her side and placed them gently on her breasts. These days her breasts are gorgeously huge, though that's both his fault and credit. And he accepted that proudly, breasts which once used to fit his hands perfectly, now full, bouncy and deliciously eye-drawing.
His thumbs lightly rubbed her swollen nipples. He knew how sensitive her body was to his touch. Her body soaked all the pleasure he had to give. her head slightly fell back, lips slightly open, and one small moan escaped her throat. Tonight's first sound of appreciation. His chest broadened with pride. His mind determined to achieve a lot more of such victories.

His hands slightly turned her,
Taking all the time she needed.
Pulled her by her shoulders
And let her bare back touch his front.

He parted her hair to one side and put a kiss on her sensitive spot behind her ear.
She melted instantly sat on her heels.

He went in front of her, she had her head down, like once she used to sit whenever he was in front of her.
He lifted her face up by her chin,
Her big brown eyes fell on his.
And it was just like the first time.

She had the most beautiful and soft eyes he had ever seen.
She sat staring at him. Her eyes gave it all,
She was happy, pleased, aroused and exhausted too.

He sat by her.

"I love you," he said completely meaning it and brushed his palm over her huge stomach which carries the second most intimate part of his life.
"And I love you too." he bent down to put a kiss on her stomach and whispered," Just a few more days till we meet."

Pain: For I couldn't think of anything else.

He is her Muse, He is her Master.

Initially, there was just Pain
That none really understood.
A Few rubber bands around the wrist,
Which was almost bleeding;
The repeated bites of them
Over the sore, damaged flesh

Had somewhat ease the deeper pain.

Pain: Two-fold was it for her.
One could momentarily satisfy
Her masochistic fetish,
The other was more unstable.
Bit broken, bit shaken,
In thoughts which come and go,
She dared to Hope
Where even the darkness was lost in itself.

"Pain. Pain."
She twice yelled.
None heard her screams though it seems.
'Probably this addiction is bad,'
She realized.

This gives her a comfort
That the advanced bred forgot to show.
She was alone but never lonely,
Which she always believed.
Forced by situation, forced by men,
She doubted.
Shouldn't she be doing what she wants?
Just for once.

There lay the shackle.
You know,
The gigantic, rusted and uncomfortably heavy one.
Probably this is the last hurdle, last test,
Her trapped soul when asked for freedom
All she got was more confinements.

Then again, She dared
And just for once, by mistake
Wished for Death.
Wished for the Satan himself.
She thought
She was ready, Prepared,
Willing to take in all.

Instead, she found
That was myth till date.
A journey that all took
Over time and history.
Some succeeded in the yellow pages,
Some in torn canvases,
Some in Man's words,
Some under "Forever" tag.

Her heart was broken,
She refused to fix it
Rather let it freeze for eternity
In the Chamber of Devil's frost.

Beginnings are always tough,
But Time, Time-
Pieces of fragile glass
Turned into a frozen stone,
Patched with black tapes-
Perhaps patches of memories.

But little had she known
With that tiny insignificant thing,
Just like pixie dust and genie's wish
Even the beast found the beauty.

He is the cure, He is the answer.
While she has him,
The heaven found her.

P.S- She tapped the burnt cigarette in one hand,
While the other bled the page with the ink of their union.

#Memories : Part 10

It's true that it's not good to spill your secrets to any one person all at a time. Rather you should take some time to open yourself and crack the other's soul slowly and delicately. A Little distance is occasionally necessary .

The more time you take, more patient you will become. More time you spend, stronger the bond grows.

Which reminds me once He had said,' I invest only where it's profitable.' Again, he was the one who said, 'When in love, there's no profit, no loss.'

Only a couple of months until we see each other again.
We'll survive this distance, we will have to. To make many more new memories.

#Memories : Part 9

'Have you ever been afraid of anything?'

'Never. No..wait. Just that one time when I was late for almost twenty days.'

'And who was responsible for that?'

I looked at him with annoyance. How could he ask that?
I raised an eyebrow, 'You tell me?!'

He lifted his hand up in the air with a proud grin on his face.

It was funny how innocent he looked at that moment. Like a child who knows the answer and impatient to give it.

But the best part was that he wasn't afraid either, rather willing to take up the responsibility.

#Memories : Part 8

If it would have been someone else, I wouldn't have believed.

But it's about Him. Because I have witnessed him win every game, almost impossible or lost ones.

He draws a card from a stack like a pro. Wins even without looking at the deck.
He knows how to fly a kite high in the autumn sky.
His fingers play most passionate chords on the guitar.
He volunteers to help others, be it a stranger. No- chivalry is not dead.

His camera has captured quite a many vivid moments.
He expresses in the most engaging voice, truly once heard cannot be forgotten.
His smile bright enough to cheer everyone around.
He knows how to cook a number of delicacies.

His unmatched intelligence, interest in all fields and tremendous urge for knowledge.
Plays cricket with the kids on the road.
He who loves and knows dogs.
And his dedication to his sport- swimming....I would leave it for him to complete.

Could he be any more perfect?

Once you fall in love with a writer, You live forever.

Once you fall in love with a writer, You live forever.

I love you more than can I ever love myself.

Selfless, Unconditional, Unrequited, Forever.

Just a word uttered by your lips, I could create any world with it.

Stoned, High, Tripping, Passed out.
I recall your name. Your presence is felt always around me.

The louder your music gets, sober my words.

Love me back if you want.
But dare you try and tame me.
For like sand, the tighter you hold me in your hand, the faster I will slip way.

I sat with a cigarette in my hand. Carefully observing the smoke taking shapes which only the wildest soul can possibly imagine.

The sensual curve of a feminine figure, born out of the same smoke, its slender, thick-white fume twisting into a distinctive piece of art.
An art you can put on canvas, only to find it dissolve in that blank surface and make space for something new.

Didn't I warn you before?
You are free a soul just like I am. Do what you wish behind my back, but return me my 'You' when you come Home.
Or not a word, not a mess, I will just leave without ever turning back.

P.S- I have to add until now I was barren and only fruitful after HE intervened.

If you believe in Magic.

When I woke up in the middle of the night, he wasn't there with me. We had been together for a few months now. And never before had he left me alone at night.

I had fallen asleep earlier tonight. Our time together had been extremely passionate and pleasurable, like always, but tiring too.

We both had an exhausting day, and our slow love-making was the best thing we needed. Well, but nothing was slow about it.

I grabbed his shirt, which was dropped sometime during our make-out session and put it on. While buttoning it, I left the bedroom and headed towards his office, the only room he could be at that time if he wasn't with me. His office was on the other side of the hall, across the bedroom of his 3BHK apartment. The door of the room was open, but the lights were out. I slowly opened the door to look inside.

He was sitting on his chair, shirtless, just in his shorts. The only source of light in the room was from the window by his side, where he sat. He looked tempting as always, with those beautifully carved muscles of his, the messy black hair, eyes closed and one hand resting on his chest, while he slept peacefully. It was absolutely blissful to see him sleep without any worries.

I neared the distance between us and kneeled down in front of him. As if my presence was what he'd been waiting for. He opened his eyes and gave me a smile, but his eyes spoke something else. Something was not right, something was bothering him.

His eyes were fixed on mine, they were full of desire and passion. It was like a spell cast upon us, impossible to look anywhere else.

"Why ain't you in bed?" I asked softly, placing one hand on his thigh. "Is something troubling you? You know you can share anything with me." I was seriously concerned about what causing him distress.

"No." he replied," And Yes I know. But it's nothing sweetheart."
But it was not. I could tell something was not right.

I rose up, and stood between his legs,took his face in my hands, and placed a kiss on his forehead. It was a simple gesture to make him know, I was there for him, no matter what. I would always be.

" Tell me. What can I do to make you feel better? What do you need?"

He pulled me closer by my waist and buried his face against my breasts. His hands securely locked around me. He placed a kiss on my stomach before letting go.

"I just need you."

He rose from his chair and scooped me up in his arms. He carried me towards the bedroom.

"Am I heavy? Do I weight too much?" I asked hoping to lighten the atmosphere.

He looked at me eyes and rolled his lip down as if to say it didn't matter. As If I weigh nothing.

He gently put me on the bed and climbed on top of me. He bent down to meet his lips with mine, while his hands were right at work unbuttoning the only few buttons I could manage to do earlier.

As his lips swept against mine, his hands parted the shirt to exposed my underneath. He never needed much time to undress, especially when the dress was nearly undone.

I nibbled his lower lip , as his hands grabbed my breasts, massaging them in a circular motion, thumbs rubbing over the hardened nipples. I arched up as the pleasure started building up. Our tongues rolled with each other, at perfect synchronization. I grabbed the waistband of his shorts and had it down in few seconds. As he completely got rid of it, I removed the shirt I was wearing.

I rode him, made him lay on his back, and kissed him. His hands were on my back, fingers tracing lines, sending thrills deep within my bones. I was completely lost in the moment. He took one of my nipples in his mouth, sucked it hard, teased it with his teeth, repeated that with the other.

I let my hand have his cock which was half-hardened already. I worked it up, with regular up-and-down motion.

He groaned against my breasts, and that was it. I put him in my mouth and pumped him thoroughly. I looked at him to find him enjoying the moment. His eyes were closed, lips bit left apart and breaths quickened.
Suddenly, he stopped me and turn me under him in a swift motion, spreading my legs by my knees.

He immediately went down on me. His tongue gave long swept against my sex. He tugged the most sensitive spot while his finger inserted into me. He worked in and out, rising my pleasure level.
I grabbed him by his shoulder, my nails digging deep into his skin. He added another finger, and I was almost about to shatter.

He withdrew his fingers and entered himself into me.  All distance closed, secrets were forgotten, all worries left behind. He grabbed my butts to lift me up, pumped himself in me. He increased the pace and thumped quickly.
Until then, there was a certain emptiness but having him inside me, had me completed.

I had both my hands over the top of my head,holding the edge of the bed. He lifted my legs over his shoulders and continued his action. My climax was almost taken to its extreme. He slowed a little, took some time to slowly pull himself out and entered back. In the slow full motions, he continued before
falling over me, his face against my neck, without taking himself out.

After a short break, we had round two and three and then again. Twice to took himself out, as we didn't use any contraceptives. The session which seemed almost of an hour or more got us two impressive orgasms together.

While we laid on the bed afterward, I hoped his downstair neighbor wasn't disturbed by our wild shrieks and pleasure moans. I wrapped my arms around him, lips pressed on his neck, nose sniffling the essence around.

Yes,indeed, it was all magical. And another beautiful memory conceived.

First ever Bengali post

তোকে ছেরে থাকার মধ্যে আছে তোকে ফিরে পাওযার আশা ,
কখনো না কখনো বা বুঝি,
মন মেনে নিতে চায় না তোর চলে যাওয়া,
কিন্তু নেই কোনো অধিকার যে তোকে ধরে রাখি |

হয়তো তুই ফিরবি আমার কাছে,
জরিয়ে ধরে, নিবি আপন করে,
বাসবি ভালো আরো অনেক বেশি |
দিবি সব যন্ত্রনা ভুলিয়ে,
খুশিতে জিবন ভরিয়ে,
চোখের জল মুছে, ফুটিয়ে দিবি মুখে হাশি |

তোর চোখে হারিয়ে ফেলি নিজেকে,
আর তোর হাশিতে খুজে পাই
নতুন করে বাঁচার শত কারন,
তাই বার বার শুধু তোকেই চাই |

দেখতে দেখতে এসে যাবে সেই দিন
কাছে টেনে বলব কানে কানে,
"শুধু অপেক্ষা নয় এ আমার,
বাবু, ভালবাশি তোকে, আর বাসব চিরদিন |"

P.S- Sometimes vernacular does what English cannot.
#dedicated

A couple of thousand miles away

She feared her too much care might irritate him.
She kept herself busy to forget his absence.
He needed space and she gave him that.

Despite all sorrows, she put up a smile and functioned as per as her usual schedule the whole week.

When her time for pay came,
She stayed awake all night,
On their day- of being together
Waiting for a single text,
Unknown to what he's upto a couple of thousand miles away.

Your return.

Now the fingers trace the empty bed, it seems cold.

Outside,
The sky is quiet, the moon is alive.

Witnessing
At different places, miles away
In different worlds;
Two individuals-
One is unaware while the other awaits.

'What's the best thing about your leaving?'

'What?' He'd asked.

'Your return.'

Eyes met, and a shy smile was introduced to a sexy smirk.

'The good thing is when I'll see you after all this time, it'll feel wonderful. Distance will deepen what we have.'

'It can be the opposite. Separation can reduce the chance of what we might.' He'd answered.

'Maybe. But hope- that's gonna keep me alive in your absence.'

You're missed. Take care, Stay safe.

Random Thought #3

He: How do you know?Did I tell you that?who are you? Why do I tell you everything?
*Takes another sip of his beer*
Me: How'd I know?(smirking)
He: *tries to think hard*
Me: Maybe you should maintain a diary.Just so you know what all you feed me.

                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't want your goodbye kisses but I need your welcome hugs.

Still, I'm ready to let the emptiness gulf me once again.
I wish I could kiss the back of your palms and say,' I Love You too.'

He is not my excuse to escape the reality.

He is my new dream.

                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Love You. I Miss You.
Every second, every moment of my life.

In case you wanna know
How I am or What I am doing,

I am miserable and absolutely doing fine in what I do best.

Waiting for you, your reply, your words, your voice,
And above all, your return.

                                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We don't need to talk everyday. No need of asking how things are.

For nothing can go wrong.
My prayers have your name, to harm you they'd have to get through me.

                                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's always this one last/final limit, which on being crossed you can't torture yourself anymore and instead give the power in the hands of someone else...someone better.

Pro. Prakton. Wherever I wish to call... Mystery will still suit the best.
Mind-fuck is still the favorite game and pastime.

                                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had to be just at the time when everything in my life was proportionately perfect, a single thought would crumple all down.

Will live for myself but none can ever stop me from loving you.

                                                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who said I am crying, I don't cry....why would I? I am doing fine.

I have absolutely nothing to lose. For you can never lose what's never yours.

                                                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I love you."

He knew my weakness well. He smiled and I was sent back to the time when it all started.

Random Thought #2

Kneeling in front of each other, fingers intertwined;
Bodies at closest proximity, skin to skin.

Having him all by myself after all this time.

Wrapping my arms around him, pressing my face against his chest, I whisper, 'Let's celebrate.'

He holds me tight as if to never let go.
It's something I would never get enough.
I've missed his touch for two whole months.
His care, his closeness, his love.

The days were dull,
Time ran slow,
Well, I lacked a few shades of hues that even the city seemed lifeless.

But now he has come back,
To home, to me.

Lots to be shared, much to be discussed.
But that can wait until the quench of our souls is satisfied.

'Celebrate what?' He asked as he parted my hair, baring one of my shoulders,
His fingers trace lines slowly over my back.

I look up to meet his eyes.
'Us'

And as he claims my lips with his, my wildness gets her Master.
The tempest in me just found her equal, the perfectly imperfect match.

At least, this full weekend, I have him until this Monday.

#Memories

Wrapped my arms around him,
Kissed the back of his neck,
Let our legs intertwined,
And found him shivering.

"Turn" my mind wished.

And he did, our eyes locked;
He pulled me closer,
Buried his face between my breasts and inhaled;
As he took in my essence
He left me empty.

#Memories : Part 6

'Isn't that a palazzo?' He asks.
'Mm-hmm. Is there anything that you don't know about?' I counter question.

'You know a few more inches, and you could have been a supermodel.'

Huh?! Where did that come from? With my height, it wasn't like I never got such suggestions before....But why would he suddenly bring that up?
Is he mocking me?

Surely, two can play this game.

'Well. That's what heels are for. There was a time when I loved wearing them too.'

'Which ones? How much can your feet take?' He smirks.

What?! How does he know about heels?
I can vouch for that he isn't gay. Then that only leaves another alternative, he is a freaking know-it-all with a list of chicks behind the source of his knowledge.

'Um..Four inches.'

'A guy above six-feet would look great by your side then.'He said while tapping his foot.

This is getting way beyond irritating.
'Yeah...like you should with bimbos whose tits could give it tough to melons.' I'm mad...really mad.

'32B. I ain't complaining.' He says trying hard to suppress his smile.

'It's not thirty-......'
Fuck! is there anything that this man doesn't know about?

#Memories : Part 5

He put the glass down, his smile faded, and eyes lost their sparkle.

I climbed on the bed to sit beside him. Lifted my hand to touch his face.
He didn't let me.

'I'm sorry' I was screaming from the inside. 'I didn't have any other option.' But lips stayed still.

'Did you ask me before taking the decision?' His voice sounded hurt yet stern enough to send a chill through my spine.

I remained silent. And so did he.
I needed a few drinks to confess about it. And it not only had my nerve strong but bit charged up too.

I locked my fingers around his neck and pulled him close for the last kiss.
He stopped me, let my hands drop.
'Go and sit over there.' It wasn't a request.

It had hurt, never before did he refused my touch.

Our moment of passion is something that overpowers all other heats.

I distanced myself to the farthest end of the bed.

Finishing his drink in one gulp, he sat there with his head down.
Seeing him like that, it broke my heart into pieces.

What have I done? But what's happened cannot be undone.

After what seemed like an eternity, he called my name offering me his hand.

I swear my heart had skipped a few beats that moment.

When I reached him this time, he wrapped his arms around my waist, those watery eyes fixed on mine.

'Tell me your exact words. I'm sure something can be altered. Neither can you leave me nor can I live without you.'

#Memories : Part 4

Branded and Bonded.
We are done with reading each other's souls.

He: Marry me?
Me: Um..I don't believe in marriages.
He: Okay.

Me: But if I ever do, it will be with you.
He: Why would you, when you don't even believe in marriages?
Me: Because you want to.
He: No. Never change yourself for anyone, not even for me.

Well, that's the Man I fell more in love with.

#Memories : Part 3

I no longer miss.....

..... miss only how almost in all our meeting he would sing me the 'Whisky lullaby' or Denver's 'Leaving on a jet plane' or that one time the only song he'd leant during his stay in Shillong, while his beautiful fingers played the chords on a guitar.

While I long to call him 'My Man', I pray for his safety, his good health and success.

#Memories : Part 2

A whole week of no communication.

Monday: *Bored* I'll be there, the place where a little peace lingers.
Then I saw him coming, with someone else by his side.

Tuesday: I pray we don't meet today.
Then again I saw him, huh?! Even the color of our T-shirts matched.

Wednesday: *nice weather* Don't let it rain if it does I must be deep in love.
Damn!! The sky had to pour all it had got right at that moment.

Thursday: Back at the same place, hope he doesn't show up tonight.
*about to take a sip of my lemon tea*
He takes the glass from my hand.
Sits by my side removes the earphone,
And leans closer.

"Why is it you always find me when I'm in the most hideous outfits?" I couldn't help but ask.

"It's never about what I see you in, but the fact that I find you. How hard you try to hide or ran away, I'll always find you. Stuck, you're forever stuck with me."

You know who I blame?
Just the early April showers, irritatingly enchanting charms of the Koel, the dying season of Spring, a few 'chances-coincidences' and the most incredible person I've ever known.

And all these for what if you ask.
The answer is quite simple,
'To make me fall in love...in love for real.'

#Memories : Part 1

First meet

The tall, masculine figure crossed the road.

'Damn he is handsome. Why haven't I noticed that before.' I mumbled.

'Hey.' He said offering me his hand.
'Um..' cleared my throat,' Hello.'
Why am I feeling uneasy? He's a nobody. Had known him earlier, but never thought of meeting him like this. I should have taken some liquor to ease my nerve like I generally do.

We didn't have a good start, and for the first time I couldn't care any less for anyone, then why such sudden awkwardness.

'Let's go and sit somewhere.'he suggested.
'I don't mind walking.' I said.

'Actually one of my friends is here with me. I hope you don't mind that...'

'Hey..that's fine.' Alright?! First-meet with a bone between the flesh. Not bad.'Where is he?'

'Washroom.' he gave a laugh.' He had a few drinks.'

I smiled. Just then I knew what it was all about.

'How many did you have?'

'Two or three.' He stopped to look at me.' How did you know? Do I smell of beer?'

'Um..no. I just know.'

Well, I wasn't the only one nervous about the meeting.

Random Thought #1

He was like a bottle of Old Monk.
The very taste of him on my lips still lingers,
For infinite time and space.
The traces of the fingers on already desperate skin,
And the heated ambience.

We share a bond which neither words can express nor all can assess.

Like star-crossed lovers, we stare, we share, we laugh, we love.

A distance can be closed but is that what the creator desires?
Or is he busy watching the play(read Game) for we the well-rehearsed actors are still to be tested??

Forever is a deep term, not for all, definitely not for Us.
Yet, we are struggling, fighting;
Each day and everyday,
For some tales whether happy or interrupted, deserve endings that can steal not just your heart but breaths away.

I Love You

And I had to wrap him in my arms and never let go.
He pressed his face against my neck,
his warm breaths felt on my skin.

"I will miss you." I wanted to say it aloud. "I Love you." But I couldn't. I just couldn't.

He hugged me tighter.

Just then I remembered how he had mouthed a kiss at me before, and I smiled.

He kissed my cheek before letting go.

I looked at him and thought,"I could eat him up."
Where did that come from? What?
" Shut up." I scolded myself.

"What?" He narrowed his eyes.

"What? Nothing." I quickly replied.

And then "I Love you too." is what he had.

I will have you in my arms

He's there, a few thousand miles away,
And if you ask how I feel now
My answer will be simple

'I understand how much this is necessary.'

Yes.. once I had said ' I fell for the wrong person.'
And of course, it had hurt him,
A lot,
There was a glimpse in his eyes.

'Why do you come to see the wrong guy then?' he had asked.
His eyes refused to meet mine.

Then, it was made clear what mistake I had done.
But I couldn't undo what's been said, I couldn't take my words back.

I knew a simple apologize wouldn't do any good.

'Can I just say "I Love You" and be forgiven?' My tipsy conscious made me smile like an idiot.

Even then he had pulled me in an embrace.

'How many times your gonna hug me?' I giggled.

'Everytime you give me something, I will have you in my arms, and make you realize you're mine.'

And with my declaration of love for him,
It wasn't just a kiss on my cheek but a branding on my soul was what he had done.

Tonight is the night.

Tonight is the night.

A huge four-poster bed,
With lavender gauzy curtains and white fluffy mattress,
In dim moonlight through the half-opened window,
And soft, warm sea breeze filling the room.

It was a perfect picture of solitude.

Until
Two figures were seen.
Slow movements and heavy breaths.

The air was too charmed to hold back the desires.

They wanted the same thing,
To be loved and be in love.

One Playful push,
And he fell bouncing on long-awaited bed.
She gracefully saddled him,
His hands were immediately tracing her velvety smooth skin,
Her arms around his neck and his face buried against her.

As she lowered herself,
She felt him within her
Deeper, closer than she thought was ever possible.

The night then witnessed,

As they made love
Holding each other, in the ambience of endless passion and sweet fragrance.

A relishing reverie

Have you ever thought of what would happen in afterlife?

I do. Everyday. Every moment.

Because I know it's only a matter of time, that he will leave. That we can never be together. That there can never be 'Us'.

Tears pooling at the corner of the eyes,
A strange shot of pain
Where a heavy heart beats.

Yet the memories bring shy smiles,
A relishing reverie
When I recall him sitting across me,
Looking straight into my eyes.

I devoured him shamelessly.
'What?'he raised his eyebrow.

'You are handsome. You look beautiful when you smile.'

He smirked, 'Because that's the only thing I do from heart except....'

'Except?!' I questioned immediately.

And he had just winked.

Now that, the time is almost over.

I'm prepared.
I pray. I wish. I believe.

'Forever is a longtime and whether we get our happy ending or not, Our Love definitely will.'

"Just wait for me."

At times, we all act immature, irrational, possessive, proud or egoist.
Life is a simple equation if you know how to solve it.

Yet we complicate it for our own conveniences.

"Just wait for me." is what he had said.

Be it a year or two, or ten to be precise.
Some see it as submission,
But I say it is devotion.

To stay committed, to love a person beyond forever.

He advises you, inspires you,
Motivates you, surprises you.
You wish to become a better person for him, for yourself.
He is like a father figure.

Makes you laugh, makes you cry,
Teases you, fights with you,
Cuddles yet spank,
Playful as ever.
He is like your brother.

Having his head on your lap,
Brushing his hair till he falls asleep,
Be there for him whenever he needs you,
When you'll do absolutely anything for him.
He is like a son to you.

Listens to all you've got to spill and consoles you,
Knows all your secrets, never judges.
Despite all differences, similarities prevail.
He is your friend.

Yours to take care of, to comfort his distress and make sure he belongs to you.
He is your lover.

At sign of a little trouble,
He will do whatever it takes to keep you safe.
He is your protector.

'Six jewels', they say,
What makes you believe,
It is Him.
He is the one for you.

You know that your place is right next to him as an equal.
He is your partner.

Again when you know,
You can sit at the feet of that person, and serve him until your last breath.
He is your ultimate master.

You love him way too much to not obey what he says.

So, yes.
Without any doubt, without a second thought,
I will wait,
Wait for him,
As long as it takes.